something cold

What have I found that makes me so cold? I am not shivering, but I am cold.

I have found something out that makes me frozen. I cannot move.

The essence of it creeps into my mind. The thought is haunting. The thought of the thing that freezes me.

I have not found a ghost or something insensible, I have found something real. To real, it's to real.

It penatrates me, so I am no more than an ant. It crushes me. The horrid thing that makes me so cold, is more suffocating than anything.

And I cannot get it out of my head.

Why, I ask, did I find it out, it is more than I can handle. It will drive me insane if I have it any longer, if I keep the thought.

It drives me, like a slave master. Why did I find it!

What makes it impossible to leave.

I cannot answer all my ramping and ravings, I cannot calm them. And why not? Because this thing has drained my streangth.

I am crushed and I have no hope.

But a light springs up, it is a light that can penetrate what has penetrated me.

The only thing that remains for me is to have it.

But will I have it, or will I shun it.